Social motivation

I'm interested in a lot of social / relational things about the Net. My personality is such that I desire deep connection with people. I have always been somewhat impatient with shallow polite conversation. I want to know what deeply moves a person. What makes them tick.

What things do they fear the most, in their darkest moments? What things do they love the most and what do they do to pursue what they love? What stops them from that pursuit of what they love?

What has been their greatest hurts, their highest moments of greatness? What's the best thing someone ever did for them? What's the best thing they ever did for someone else? What gets them through the daily grind of life? What hopes do they hold for the future? What do they hope to look back on at the end of their lives?

The questions in my mind about people I meet is endless.

I'm a deep dreamer, and want to look deeply into the souls of those around me. To connect. To understand. To find understanding.

How does this apply to gaming? Well, I find the social conventions of normal real life relationships often make it difficult to establish the sort of connection I'd like. We wear so many masks. We have such busy lives. We are often shy, fearful, uncertain and self-protective. We are hurt and walled up behind barriers of emotion or memory. We are different. We are sometimes blind to the hearts of others or not empathetic enough to see how someone else is the same as ourselves in some way.

Online, and in the past when I have corresponded in long-distance paper letters, there is the possibility for more. More trust. More feeling of safety due to a buffer of time and/or distance. More willingness to offer understanding. More effort expended into the relationship, because it takes effort to communicate by writing your thoughts, and when you take the time to do it, you are making an investment. And so you tend to be forgiving, in order to protect the investment you've made in the relationship. Isn't that odd? I find it fascinating.

For a while now, the biggest barrier for me has been lack of time. I haven't spent time online around the types of people I usually get along best with (the creatives and thinkers - whether artists, musicians, writers, programmers, gamers/game developers, geeks in general, etc).

Deciding to start gaming with TF2 has been a w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l experience for me personally. More than just the entertainment of the game. It has been a fascinating place to observe social interactions in a gaming environment, especially because Valve has created such a special environment with TF2. They have put great thought into making it something that ENCOURAGES teamwork, working together with strangers, establishing rapport and communication and ability to connect in a short time with others of such varied traits.

I realize not everyone is wired the same as I am. My husband never talked about the social aspects of the game as anything special or a reason to play the game. I think that's a guy thing (if I were to make free with a gender stereotype).

Even if you think of it as "just a game", take a moment and ask yourself about some of your most satisfying moments. Was it when someone noticed your contribution to the team? When you found a teammate who was willing to work together to destroy a difficult target? When you dominated the stats and several people friended you after a match?

What are some of the things you like about the social aspects of TF2?