be careful what you're famous for

I learned a lesson today. Now, I'm not saying I got schooled, but it gave me something to think about.

(*grin* I'm kinda tongue-in-cheek here... the incident tickles my funny bone far more than it bruises my tailbone...)

The lesson: Beware what you say. You never know when some off-handed comment will become the classic quote that brands you for life.

Yeah, I was just minding my own business, trying to be an active participant in the forum community, and putting in my two cents worth. And I said:

Dude, I'm a medic. I'm a girl. I'm a casual player. I'm gonna die a lot. *shrug*

For some reason, this caught a fellow player's fancy.... and he made it his sig in the forums:

"Dude, I'm a medic. I'm a girl. I'm a casual player. I'm gonna die a lot. *shrug*" - ]NsR[ buttercup

With my name after it like that, it starts looking like some classic quote that's gonna scream across the Net, propagating from gaming forum to gaming forum and generations after us will wonder, "Who was that gamer girl, anyway?"

(you can call it delusions of grandeur if you like, it entertains me nonetheless...)

That means for all 247 (and counting) posts in the forum, everywhere he shows up, there is an advertisement for my quintessential gaming attitude: a resignation to my fate.

"So, how do you feel about that, buttercup?"

Hm. On the one hand, it's true. I have accepted that I'll spend a lot of time in re-spawn.

On the other hand... that doesn't really coming across as the Mighty Medic I'd like to be for my gaming buddies.

On the third hand, I can take comfort in my multitude of screenshots declaring my usual spot in the top three of a typical match. Can't be doing too badly if I'm there, right?

Back to the first hand: Hey, what can I say? It's true. *snort*

TF2 Crafting Success

Finally! At long last!!!! I have my Blutsauger back!!!

I'll try to control the heavy use of gratuitous exclamation points, but I'm just SO SHOUTIN' HAPPY here!

How It All Happened



When crafting was first announced, during the recent war between the Soldier and Demo, I popped into it to try it out. I'm pretty sure this was before they had improved the interface, and there was nothing on the inventory read-out that indicated that any of the items on the list were actually EQUIPPED.

That is, they listed ALL my weapons -- not just the extras.

So when I tried my hand at creating a Medic class token, it asked for any four Medic weapons. I had four Blutsaugers, so I took those and crafted a class token. Cool! Neat! Wowzee!

Until I realized that I'd just cannibalized ALL my Blutsaugers!!!!

Oh noes!!!!! Horrors!!!! Oh, the humanity!!!!

Ahem. Exclamations aside, I was filled with dismay. A medic is a vulnerable enough class without losing my upgraded primary weapon. Boo-hoo!

So I've played without my Blutsauger for a month or so I've felt the loss. When my attack class partner dies, leaving me fending for myself behind enemy lines, the little syringe gun doesn't do much to keep me alive. Where I used to survive maybe 30% of the time by sucking the health of my enemy for my own as I backed away at speed, now I mostly just visit the re-spawn room.

Did I mention, "Oh, the humanity"?

Okay, okay, enough melodrama. I took a little time today and explored Crafting again, figuring that perhaps some gamers with more time on their hands than I have figured it all out. A bit of Google searching, and couple of experiments in the Crafting area, and whatayaknow!

I've got my Blutsauger back. Hallelujah!




How I Did It

Part of the issue is just understanding how the crafting system works, how it is designed to do things. For some reason, it didn't seem obvious to me at first.

It's a building blocks system. To craft my Blutsauger, I followed this line of reasoning:

I want a primary Medic weapon.

Therefore I need:

• 1 Class token (this tells the system what class the weapon is for)
• 1 Slot token (eg, primary, secondary, melee -- this tells the system what kind of weapon to create)
• 1 Scrap metal

Well, each of those three items have to be created by combining OTHER items. For example:

• 4 Medic weapons = 1 Medic class token
• 4 Primary weapons (of any class) = 1 Primary slot token
• Any 3 weapons/items (any slot, any class) = 1 Scrap metal

I'd already lost my original Blutsauger crafting the Medic class token, so I had the class token.

Fortunately, I had found 5 Huntsman over the last month or so, so I kept one and crafted the other four into a primary weapon slot token.

And finally, I gave up all 3 of my Razorbacks (which I've never used, even the rare times I've played Sniper) to create some scrap metal.

My Advice?

After all this, I have one piece of advice for anyone who wants to try crafting: DO NOT TRUST THE INTERFACE in TF2 to tell you everything you need to know.

It WON'T.

Read up online to find out what others are doing, and it will help IMMENSELY.

During the course of the crafting process, twice the interface had NO BLUEPRINTS listed that would give me what I wanted. I had to go on faith, putting the items from the online crafting recipes together and hitting the crafting button "blind".

Fortunately, what I needed is pretty straightforward, so there weren't really any random factors involved. From what I've read, some blueprints will create a "random" item from the specified class and slot. But since Medics only have one unlockable primary weapon, I got what I was hoping for.

But if I hadn't had the online recipes/blueprints (telling me that they existed), then I would have seen no option in the crafting interface for doing what I wanted to do.

This TF2 crafting blueprints site helped a lot.

Also, TF2Wiki.net has a good page on crafting, with some handy reference tables.

Tell me YOUR crafting adventures!
Leave a comment!

Joining up

Wow. I've been accepted by the natives! LOL. I know it's not a big deal, but it's funny how going through the motions of applying to join a clan can bring out nervousness you never knew was there.

I wonder how many rejections it takes in life (either as a child, teen or adult) before you start dreading any opportunity to get rejected again? Even though several of the guys in the clan invited me, hinted that I was practically already an honorary member, and encouraged me to join up -- I still wondered if they'd say "no" for some obscure reason.

"Sorry, we thought you were one of us, but then we realized..."

Heh-heh. In some ways, nothing has changed. After all, that was kind of the point. I've been playing on their servers for almost as long as I've played TF2, and I had no plans to stop playing with them. Therefore, it made perfect sense to "join them".

And yet. It's fascinating to watch one's own internal reaction to things. The slight resistance to giving up "my own name" and taking theirs onto mine.

From buttercup -- simple, straightforward, standing alone in the field.

To ]NsR[ buttercup -- a flower who belongs in a field with other...er... flowers. Hmm... somehow the metaphor breaks down a bit.

Then there's the vague distaste for having to be clearly labeled as on probation until they make it official. ]NsR-nF[ buttercup -- I'm a "new fish".

(I admit, however, that discovering the "nf" stands for "new fish" really warmed me up to it immediately. I like fish!)

And finally, there's the wondering... Will this last? Will it sour? Is it like so many relationships that seem to do so well when they live together and that fall apart after they get married? Will they change towards me now that I'm officially "one of the gang"? Maybe all the fun of the hunt -- the find and conquer -- is gone now, and I'm just old news. LOL.

Funny how even something like gaming can tap into all these "real life" human emotions. Good thing I can analyze this stuff and put it all in it's proper place. "Emotions! Get back in line! No more sissy stuff! The cart's not gonna push itself!!!!"

*grin*

Go Play at the NsR Servers! They Rock!

So here's a plug, by the way: If you live on the west coast of the US, check out the NsR servers (listed on their NsR clan website) -- it's a great place to play!

Cute Nerf Now comic arc

This particular story arc spoke to me on several levels. I've been on both sides of the coin: the newbie (baby) and the veteran. Although I still consider myself more a newb than a vet.

Nerf Now! TF2 Comic: Entire Team is Babies

Enjoy!

Another video - The Scout makes a commercial

Okay, so this one just tickled my funny bone (thanks, Steel Duck!). It's a little low-key, but watch the whole thing -- the last comment is perfect! LOL.

Leaked "Meet the Spy" video

This doesn't really need any introduction. My only curiosity is whether they leaked it on purpose or not, since it's obviously a little over the top for an official release. *grin*

Afterthoughts

Do you ever have conversations replay in your mind, and you think of more clever comebacks than you had before?

Maybe next time some silly male in TF2 asks me if I'm gay or if I'd do his girlfriend while he watches, I could come back with,

"No, I'm not gay, I don't have a web cam, I won't do your girlfriend -- even if you had one -- and as for your other questions, the answers are no, no, no, and in your dreams, fuzzball. I'm just here to play the game, how about the rest of you?"

LOL.

Okay, so maybe that would just make it worse. Trash talk is one area where replying in kind just throws gasoline on the fire.

What would YOU say?

What do you think? Any choice replies come to mind?

Boys 2 Men: Levels of maturity

Been playing less often, but steadily, maybe once or twice a week. I'd like to play more, but it's enough. Real life deserves my attention, no matter how fun gaming is. As I play less often, the times that I do play, I want to have a GOOD time. The other night, I had an experience that reminded me how nice it is to have good friends on my list to play with.

The Background

As a female gamer, I find TF2 to be an great option. There are many things about the game that appeal to me: the opportunity to play various roles (great for my changing moods), the team-based play that encourages communication and bonding with other players (they say women are more about relationships than men), the variety of server environments (I can pick places that encourage a more mature approach to gaming, avoiding a constant stream of profanity, insults or generally infantile behavior).

As the Steam-powered approach to gaming takes further hold of the world, and more games are available, I find that more of my TF2 buddies are unavailable on the occasions that I log in to play. So I might find a couple dozen are playing games, but only half that are playing TF2. And half or more of THOSE might be on servers that are already full (people naturally gravitate towards places where there's already a good fight going on, rather than a mostly-empty server).

Good Gaming Friends Make All the Difference

My greatest enjoyment comes from playing with my "friends", people with whom I have good working relationships. I tend to lean towards folks who communicate well, who are relatively easy-going, who enjoy the game and don't get quickly frustrated with losing (it does happen), and who are committed to having a good time.

I love making friends with other good medics I can trust to keep me alive (while I return the favor and we both keep our team alive). I also look out for good players who I can take into battle and who I know will "get the job done" -- a reliable soldier, pyro, heavy or demo. Folks who are paying attention to the strategy and staying focused on the goal: winning the battle.

What To Do When My Friends Aren't Available

So when I log in and don't find any of my Steam friends available, it used to be a disappointment. I'd stare glumly at my server favorites, trying to find one that had room, even if none of my friends were there. And sometimes, when even THAT failed (if all my favs were full), then I'd just look for a fav map or a low ping server with some room on it. I'd scan the names of the current players, just to make sure there weren't any obvious clues that the players there were immature (watch out when most of the players on a server have names like "I Hate Gays" or "Penis Sucking Whore" or "I Slept with Your Mom Last Night"... it just doesn't bode well). Then I'd take the plunge.

Lately, I've stopped feeling glum about these forays into the unknown, because I have fun more often than not and inevitably seem to make a few more friends wherever I go. Part of this is due to the novelty of a female gamer, but I don't hold it against them if that's the only reason they friend me. As long as they're respectful, decent players and are there to have fun, then we'll do fine.

Infantile Behavior 101

This is slightly tongue-in-cheek, but I tell you what: There's a BIG difference between boys and men in the gaming world.

I hadn't really realized it, as I've been having such a good time with my regular friends. I guess it's sheltered me somewhat from the wide world of male idiocy. But the other night, I was given reason to be very thankful for the maturity of my usual servers and gaming friends.

A newer TF2 friend of mine, a young-sounding gamer who I enjoy playing with mostly because he's so talkative and eager to strategize, was on an unfamiliar server. I didn't have any of my regulars available, and I wanted to test out my new friend.

I don't think much of this or really make it some kind of a big deal, but when I add a new friend I do tend to take them for "a test drive" within a few weeks of adding them. I join them wherever they're at and see whether my initial assessment of their compatibility for my gaming preferences holds true.

Do we still work well together as a team? Do they still seem to enjoy playing with me? Do they get annoying or insulting or prove to be more trouble than they're worth?

If they are still fun to play with, they stay on my list. If not, I don't usually jump to remove them, but I don't seek them out again, either.

So I joined my new buddy on this server and heard a lot of young voices. I was in a cheerful, bantering mood, so the usual, "Buttercup, are you a GIRL?" question just made me smile and I answered in good humor. "Yep, sure am."

The questions continued, "Buttercup, what nationality are you?" That gave me pause, and I thought I knew where they were going with that. Laughing, I said, "I'm American!" Ha! I'm not going to give them some mental image of a particular skin color or stereotype to fantasize about. Silly boys. "Aww, that's cheating," they objected.

They took it further, "Buttercup, are you gay?" Oh, come on! Still in a good mood, I pretended not to hear (and actually, we were in a firefight that made it hard to be sure that's what they'd said). They repeated the question. I asked for another repeat and they got rather explicit about vagina to vagina contact.

Good heavens, boys! Get a life!

But they kept on about it and then it just got worse from there. They weren't really mean or anything, just obsessed with their little fantasies. Boys will be boys, they say.

However, when they started insulting my gameplay and slaughtering me just because of the conversation, the enjoyment just slipped away. Without comment, I disconnected and found another server. No longer in a mood for strategy or real teamwork, I logged into a server where an orange map free-for-all was in progress.

Ah, carnage!

My young friend chatted me directly after I disconnected, asking why I'd left. "Just not in the mood for the trash talk," I answered. He decided to come join me on the orange map, and, to his credit, he got over the shock of the environment and pretty quickly returned to the fun guy I'd originally met.

"Hey, let's do a medic team," he suggested. Two medics healing each other and ubering each other was pretty fun, though with 100% crits and the craziness of the gameplay we died A LOT.

But it was still fun.

The Contrast Between Boys and Men

Last night was the first time I'd played since that experience, and I ventured onto another new server. This time, it was a bunch of custom maps and all-talk was on. Obviously these guys were friends that played together a lot and there was a lot of banter. All-talk is the first warning sign that the game might be a useless free-for-all. So I was wary. I was watching.

They cussed without apology, even after they heard I was a girl. They fussed at each other about repeated headshots or spawn camping. They burped impressive burps while drinking homebrew and playing drunk. The "you're a girl?" comments were there, and yet... the difference between this friendly rivalry and the rude trash talk of the other night was striking.

The difference between boys and men in TF2? This is just my own personal rating system, but I'd say it's all in how they treat people.

If you can have a good time while still letting everyone around you enjoy the game, then you're doing pretty good. If you can't handle having a girl playing with you without harrassing her into leaving, then you've got some growing up to do.

Heh-heh. Just my opinion, of course. See ya'all on the battlefield.

Ah, back after a couple of months

Okay, so I haven't played TF2 for like TWO MONTHS...

Played tonight, mostly on the Black Mesa server by the Edge Gamers guys. Ah, lovely!

However, a lot has changed in two months! The Black Mesa map was totally re-arranged! Ack!

Still, many of the familar "faces" were there, so that made it fun. I just followed folks around. It's weird spawning in different places and having like four entrances/exits to/from spawn. Whew.

Glad to be back, for sure.

Engination video

Nice cinematic effects in this one. I SO enjoy what can be done by amateurs these days!

It starts a little slow, and the sound when they're talking is really low compared to the LOUD volume of the action (gunshots, etc), but it's definitely worth a watch. After the little storyline at the beginning, it turns to a music video. Hilarious. I especially appreciated the MacGyver reference.

Oh, and if you can, definitely watch it in full screen HD!

TF2 on deviantART

deviantArt.com is kinda like Flickr for artists. A great community for sharing art of all kinds and exchanging comments and getting inspired by others of like talent.

I've found quite a variety of artists who also enjoy Team Fortress 2, and you can see a bit of that in my TF2 Collection there.

You'll notice that there are a lot of folks that like drawing the medic, the heavy, the pyro, the spy -- but I finally found someone who gave the demo man a little love. Check it out (click to the dA page and view full size):


TF2: A Day in the Life -- 1 by ~alciha on deviantART

Please, if you find any Team Fortress art gems, post a link in a comment!

And don't forget to drop by my dA gallery when you get a chance and leave a comment on my profile to say hi! I've only got a few pieces up so far, starting with a "self-portrait" of the dedicated medic buttercup!

Team Fortress Game Sprays by GameSprays.com

I found another Team Fortress gem the other day.

Gamesprays.com is a rich resource for quality TF2 sprays. Here's a few of my favorites... (NOTE: the gray around the edge is actually transparent when you use it as a spray, so the signs look more realistic in-game...)

They have a good tutorial on how to make your own, too.

A little TF2 Christmas cheer

When I started playing TF2, I browsed around YouTube for stuff, and came across these. Too, too funny.

May you find these Christmas-themed Team Fortress videos as enjoyable as I did! Even if you've seen them before, there's always room for another round of Christmas cheer, right?

I recommend watching them in order:

It's Beginning to Look a Lot like Dustbowl
(or see the lyrics here)

Chaos Got Run Over By a Railcar

Spy Sapping My Sandwich

The thing that REALLY gets me is that real, grown men MADE these videos and sang these songs! Goodness! LOL.

There are more, but you can find them easily enough on your own... If you find another gem, please put it in a comment below and share the laughs!!!

Map creators - be inspired!

Recently we visited the U.S.S. Hornet in Alameda, CA. This was our second time touring the old ship-museum, and the first time since starting TF2 gaming. As we walked through the narrow corridors and I noted all the signs and arrows on the walls, there was one thought that pulsed in my brain:

This would be a great environment for a TF2 MATCH!!!

Wow, the ambience was perfect. Steel walls and floor. Thick ropes, cables, pipes everywhere (floor, walls, ceiling). Stairways, hatches and catwalks. Large panels of switches, readouts and gauges. There was tremendous variety available in terms of space:

• the upper flight deck was huge and open
  


• the hangar bay was big and open yet could be easily cluttered with large crates and stationary aircraft for cover
  


• rooms of varying sizes and with a variety of props (offices, comm rooms, torpedo maintenance, machinist shop, engine room, sick bay, bathrooms, bunk rooms, mess halls, briefing rooms, etc.)
  


• the tight corridors are similar to the vents of some maps like Turbine and Black Mesa
  


• several decks offer opportunity for multi-stage movement if you want a longer game

I'm no map creator myself, so I only know enough to recognize the potential. I'm guessing it would best be a cp map. It seems to me you could have a capture point on the bridge and a few below decks. Maybe one on the open flight deck, although I don't know the pros/cons of taking/defending wide open spaces.

You could have a sort of officers vs. mutineers scenario: One team starts on the bridge, the other starts in the bowels of the ship or in a small building at the far end of the flight deck. Each trying to take control of all the cap points (maybe 5 total points).

It might be tricky, but I suppose you could do a payload map, too. Try and escort the bomb from the flight deck down to the engine room or something (or from the bomb room to the bridge).

Just imagine all the fun you could have on a ship like this! Surely I'm not the first to think of it. Does anyone know of any maps set on an aircraft carrier?

If not, here's an open call to the map makers out there (yes, I'm talking to you, Blade!). Take a look at some of these photos I brought back with me, and be inspired!

Create another masterpiece, this time set on an aircraft carrier! Pleeeeeeeease!

Don't meet the spy - video

If you love the spy -- or love to hate him -- this is an excellent quality video with a nicely done music / sound clips mix. Enjoy! (try full screen!)

A satisfying KA-BLOOEY

As you may have noticed (if you play with me at all), I play medic 95% of the time (or more).

However, there are some maps or situations that just don't seem to lend themselves to this approach, and so I venture into the other classes.

The Viking map (probably related to ctf_yaaargh, shown in images and youtube video used in this post) is one of those cases. Last night, with few players on the server and map objectives that aren't particularly medic-friendly, I chose to try pyro, demo and scout this time.

It was my demo efforts that prompted this post. I consider myself very, very newb at the classes other than medic. Their speed, movements, reload timing and weapons fit like gloves two sizes too big -- everything feels slow and awkward, unfamiliar. In other words, I hit the respawn room a lot.

But I know by now that only with practice does skill come. So I stuck with demo a bit on this map to try and improve my grenade lobbing aim. The spiral stairs is a great place for this. There were enemies up the stairs, and I figured I should be able to lob a few grenades and damage them without getting in range of their weapons.

It was a nice theory.

Did I mention that I respawn a lot? Anyway, I kept at it, and then decided I'd try the sticky approach. While they were gone from the stairs, I placed some stickies on the ceiling and walls. It was kinda obvious, but I still hoped to catch someone.

A scout came running along and figured I was easy prey for his shotgun (not the first time). I lured him up the stairs, and he came cheerfully along, figuring to dodge my 'nades and mow me down with the scattergun at close range. And he almost did. But I fell down the stairs out of his way, and then just as I guessed he was passing my stickies on his way to finish the kill, I hit the right mouse button.

KA-BLOOEY!!!!

SCOUT STUFFING EVERYWHERE!!!

Oh, my. Oh, my! It was truly satisfying. I finally killed somebody with my stickies ON PURPOSE. I laid the snare, I lured them in, and BAM! got the timing right.

Ahh, yes. Very memorable moment, my first sweet kill as demo.

So tell me: What TF2 firsts do you remember best?

And for your viewing pleasure, a video that pretty much captures the fun of this map:

Map: Black Mesa

There are two things I remember best about my first time on the Black Mesa map:

1) there were so many points, and I never seemed to know which one to go to

2) spies! there were spies everywhere!

I've been playing on the excellent =(eGO)= Black Mesa server (72.233.91.126:27015). Highly recommend it. The first couple of times I visited, it was jam packed with players, and the action never stopped.

Not having any clue about the map, I just followed other players out into the fray and medic'd as best I could, dying often. The enclosed spaces (corridors, vents, small rooms) take some getting used to, and pyros especially seem to mop up on this map.

There are many clever hiding places for spies -- even things as simple as hugging the wall on the same side that the enemy usually barrells through from their spawn point (who ever looks behind them when running through an "obviously" empty room on their way to the front line?).

There are fun places that demos can camp and lob grenades (ledges around the top of rooms, catwalks, vents). A scout in an enclosed space is always difficult to target, so they might have fun -- though I wouldn't call the map scout-friendly per se. Snipers can shoot down looooong corridors at enemies rounding the corner at the far end, or camp out in the basement catwalk areas and pick enemies off cap point A.

There's definitely a little something for everyone, no matter what class you like to play.

The other night I experienced Black Mesa for the first time with relatively few players: 5 vs. 5. Given that there are five capture points (I think -- sorry, but I don't feel like logging in to double-check the map for accuracy at the moment, so I'm just writing this from memory), trying to win with 5 players is a whole new dynamic.

When we played with a full server of good players, I don't recall any actual wins when I was there -- just stalemate after stalemate.

But with the smaller number, every decision made a difference, and our team pulled it together into a WIN, at least once, maybe twice! (You know how it is, the last match is the most memorable, and I remember winning that one!)

Some tips for playing with just a few teammates on this map:

• Even when numbers are low, medics are still important! I tried going attack class with the idea that medics aren't needed with so few, but ended up switching back. As a medic, I found myself both busy and useful. There were times that I could capture or defend a c.p. by myself, and there were lots of chances to partner with teammates to take well-defended points together.
  


• Engineers are important, too! I think we had a medic, an engineer, and then a mix of attack guys who switched as needed between pyro, demo, soldier, heavy, etc. An engi with a sentry gun can sit and lock a key point while the rest of the team takes the others.
  


• You gotta communicate, people! I loved my team, because the chatter was friendly, cooperative and focused. When the engi's sentry was under attack and he couldn't reach the enemy in the vents above him, he'd call for assistance. When we were losing point A and needed to get it back, we dispatched someone without losing focus on whatever other targets we were pounding. This coordination was the key to our win, imho.
  


• Know the map! It was maybe my third time on the map, and I was still learning the details, but overall it was a HUGE help that I understood where to go when the call went out for everyone to gather at a particular capture point. All you really have to do is look up on the walls and read the signs to get the basic idea. And guys, don't be afraid to ask for directions. I found the others very helpful when I did get lost (thanks, guys!).
  
  
• Watch your HUD for cap point info! There's a very handy HUD indicator at the bottom of your screen that shows which cap points are held by which team. Use this! You can see which c.p.'s are under attack and need defense, even if you don't have anyone stationed there.

I'm looking forward to my next visit to eGO's Black Mesa server. Maybe you can meet me there and we'll secure some B-L-A-C-K points together!

Meanwhile, what's YOUR favorite map right now, and why?

Social motivation

I'm interested in a lot of social / relational things about the Net. My personality is such that I desire deep connection with people. I have always been somewhat impatient with shallow polite conversation. I want to know what deeply moves a person. What makes them tick.

What things do they fear the most, in their darkest moments? What things do they love the most and what do they do to pursue what they love? What stops them from that pursuit of what they love?

What has been their greatest hurts, their highest moments of greatness? What's the best thing someone ever did for them? What's the best thing they ever did for someone else? What gets them through the daily grind of life? What hopes do they hold for the future? What do they hope to look back on at the end of their lives?

The questions in my mind about people I meet is endless.

I'm a deep dreamer, and want to look deeply into the souls of those around me. To connect. To understand. To find understanding.

How does this apply to gaming? Well, I find the social conventions of normal real life relationships often make it difficult to establish the sort of connection I'd like. We wear so many masks. We have such busy lives. We are often shy, fearful, uncertain and self-protective. We are hurt and walled up behind barriers of emotion or memory. We are different. We are sometimes blind to the hearts of others or not empathetic enough to see how someone else is the same as ourselves in some way.

Online, and in the past when I have corresponded in long-distance paper letters, there is the possibility for more. More trust. More feeling of safety due to a buffer of time and/or distance. More willingness to offer understanding. More effort expended into the relationship, because it takes effort to communicate by writing your thoughts, and when you take the time to do it, you are making an investment. And so you tend to be forgiving, in order to protect the investment you've made in the relationship. Isn't that odd? I find it fascinating.

For a while now, the biggest barrier for me has been lack of time. I haven't spent time online around the types of people I usually get along best with (the creatives and thinkers - whether artists, musicians, writers, programmers, gamers/game developers, geeks in general, etc).

Deciding to start gaming with TF2 has been a w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l experience for me personally. More than just the entertainment of the game. It has been a fascinating place to observe social interactions in a gaming environment, especially because Valve has created such a special environment with TF2. They have put great thought into making it something that ENCOURAGES teamwork, working together with strangers, establishing rapport and communication and ability to connect in a short time with others of such varied traits.

I realize not everyone is wired the same as I am. My husband never talked about the social aspects of the game as anything special or a reason to play the game. I think that's a guy thing (if I were to make free with a gender stereotype).

Even if you think of it as "just a game", take a moment and ask yourself about some of your most satisfying moments. Was it when someone noticed your contribution to the team? When you found a teammate who was willing to work together to destroy a difficult target? When you dominated the stats and several people friended you after a match?

What are some of the things you like about the social aspects of TF2?

iPod Shuffle without iTunes

The Hubby surprised me with a wonderful treat the other day: an iPod Shuffle. Cute little thing, metallic lime square made to clip on your clothes unobtrusively and deliver audio-yumminess directly in your ear. YES.

So I settled down next to the laptop to make it go. We have a thing against iTunes in our household, so the search began: how to set the thing up to play music without iTunes.

It was actually pretty easy once I found the right pieces. Here's what's worked for me (for anyone interested):

• the script below requires Python, so download and install that first
• then run rebuild_db

The instructions on the rebuild_db page made it smooth as cheesecake. Except that I missed one little detail the first time around. When they say "initialize your iPod with iTunes (that is, give it a name, and enable its usage as a mass storage device)", I missed the part about enable it as an MSD. Which led me along the following rabbit trail:

I gave it a name, but then I couldn't access it via drive letter. It wouldn't show up in an explorer window for me to copy files.

The iTunes interface is highly self-serving, which makes it bad interface design, imho. They push a lot of propaganda at you, so once in the main window for my device, I had to click 2-3 buttons to say "No, I don't want to register" and then "Cancel" JUST to reach the normal view of my iPod contents. It's the sort of grief that pushes folks to give up their privacy to registration just to shut the thing up. Anyway...

Once there, you click the tab at the top for Settings. Towards the bottom is the checkbox for "Enable disk use".

Side note: I'm not sure about the songs vs. data slider bar. It seems logical to me that you'd want to give it more room for data, since iTunes probably only counts "songs" as songs that it is managing. So that's what I did -- set the slider for more data and only left room for about 10 songs to iTunes (just in case I ever find a CD in iTunes format that I really want and don't have time to convert it before sticking it on the iPod). If anyone knows better about the data vs. songs, let me know; it's just a guess on my part.

This all did the trick, and I was able to copy my .mp3 files onto the iPod and they played perfectly. Awesome.

Another nice feature: the rebuild_db "smart shuffle" feature (part of the script by default in recent versions) is a better random than the default shuffle. Have you ever been annoyed by "random shuffles" that keep hitting the same song or album, or don't ever seem to hit others? This one is better!

A little more tweaking of the Python script (they have some sweet little options for folks that like to listen to audio books or lectures), and everything is now just the way I like it.

Beautiful.

It's stuff like this that keeps me saying, "Ah, technology" (to the tune of "Ah, amore!").

What cool little tech hacks have made your life more enjoyable lately?

Mood: Expectant

For me, starting to play Team Fortress 2 was a bit like having children.
(but only a bit)
(in fact, just enough for literary purposes and no more)
The first time you do it just because your friends seem to be enjoying it, and it's just expected that some day you'll join them. ;-P

You look forward to it, but perhaps with a little apprehension at trying something new. You're not sure if you'll like it.

At first, it's really hard. There's a lot of "firsts", new things that you've never experienced before (if you haven't played similar games). You ache in places you never ached before (even though I used a wrist brace right from the start!). You stumble around figuring stuff out. You make some friends along the way (hopefully) who show you the ropes when you need it most.

The game grows on you over time. Becomes more familiar, a bit easier, more enjoyable. Less time thinking about how to play and more time just playing. And then one day, you experience a tough firefight -- and you push -- and you survive! And you realize that it's all gonna be easier after this. You've gotten past the newbie stage and are doing pretty good.

It's an awesome feeling.

I've played predominantly medic in my TF2 time. It's extremely satisfying to me to play a class that is generally needed (it's rare I find a team with too many medics already there, although there are some maps that make medic less useful or a lot less fun). I love providing ubers to my team. It satisfies both my desire to watch things go "KA-BLOOEY!" and my desire to save lives.

But after a while, playing ONLY medic wasn't enough. I realized it was time for something new. Going back to the "having kids" metaphor, it was time for an addition to the family. And even though I knew it would involve a lot of work, there wasn't the same nervousness as the first time. I knew how to walk, how to strafe, how to shoot -- I could "carry" this child easily, remembering the first time.

The frustrations and times when it just seems impossible won't be so bad knowing that they will pass. And someday, perhaps, I will see my name as number three (or one!) on the game stats -- and this time it wouldn't be as medic.

It will be as...

Spy.

After some conversations with other players to figure out if I really wanted to try this reputedly difficult class, I've begun my spy training (thanks, Vision!). I can tell it's gonna take some work. But I have several friends (and have encountered many "enemy spies" in-game) who inspire me to think spy will be really fun once I get the hang of it.

Ah, the glow of an expectant woman.
(Sorry, guys, for the woman-centric reproductive metaphor... Kaliki, you probably understand)

What future TF2 moment do you look forward to right now?
(an achievement? new weapon? doing something amazing that isn't even listed as an achievement?)